Anyway, today I wanted to dedicate a little post as to why I have been a bit absent on my blog lately. So in today's post I just wanted to talk you through a few of my life updates, how I have been feeling and what has been on my mind.
Back to uni
September is back to school season for most of us. This meant that I too went back to uni last month. It's crazy that it has already been a month it literally flew by because it has been so busy for me. It all started out a bit chaotic at uni as my timetable for uni came super late. My uni class mates and I emailed literally everyone at uni, but either no one was answering or did not know how to help us. So the first two-ish weeks at uni I felt a bit lost. I did not know what to do, who to contact or how to prepare myself for classes when I did not even have a timetable. Now eventually that made me feel super stressed and anxious because I hate getting behind on uni work as there is always so much to do in a term.Working on my Bachelor thesis
I think I have mentioned that I am in my final year of university right now. I study Communications and am hoping to graduate with a bachelor degree in April next year. With being in your final year at university comes writing a thesis. I don't think I have talked that much about my thesis that much on my blog before. Mainly because it's been giving me a lot of stress and anxiety and my blog has always been this escape and outlet for me to talk about the stuff I love to talk about.
A few people have asked me what my thesis is about, but here in the Netherlands, or at least at my university writing a Bachelor thesis is a bit different than anywhere else in the world. We basically have to write a research thesis for an external company that we have to find ourselves. Those companies usually have some sort of strategic communications related question that they want to have solved. That's where we students come in, we have to do research and find a strategic solution for this strategic question they want to solve.
So I have writing a thesis on a marketing communications related strategic question in April. The communications department at my university has decided that this process takes up about 3 terms of our fourth year at uni, which means that it takes up a lot of time. I have never been that great with writing research papers. I always get a bit overwhelmed by how much information exists on any topic and just get stressed about it. After I came back from my summer holiday and I went back to writing my thesis, this overwhelming information overload started to take it's toll on me. I am a massive overthinker and just could not let all of this go. This led to me feeling very anxious and I ended up having quite a few anxiety attacks during the months of August and September.
Anxiety attacks and how I got through them
Like I said, all of this really started to have its toll on me. I think I went two weeks of September going through daily anxiety attacks. So September definitely has not been my month when it comes to mental health. The stress all got to me and resulted in giving me quite a lot of anxiety. I ended up feeling very fragile in my life completely. I didn't know how to go outside and do stuff on my own without feeling anxious or getting anxiety attacks.
Thankfully my parents, brother, cousins and friends noticed that something was wrong. They all dragged me out of the house and wanted me to talk about it all, which really helped me. I slowly am starting to feel less anxious now that I feel like I have my life a bit more under control. September started out with a lot of uncertainty, which I don't deal all too well with. Thankfully there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, which for me happened a week or two ago. I got to see my cousin lots in September, which is such a perk of her moving to the city I live in. She always knows how to talk to me and how to cheer me up.
Autumn blogging plans
I am doing much better now and I also feel more energised. October is off to a good start so far. I have lots of exciting autumn content ideas, however I need to make myself schedule so I can focus more on my blog and the things I love doing instead of only focussing on uni deadlines and my thesis.
October feels like a fresh start to me. By the end of this week I want to have a schedule set so I can properly get back into blogging again too. August and September kind of have been off months for my blog because there was so much other stuff going on. This month I am determined to shoot some exciting content and to sit down and write some new posts too, because I actually miss writing and creating content for my blog and instagram.
Self care in October
October also is all about self care and mental health care for me. I need to take days off to relax, to get my energy levels up after being so extremely exhausted. In October it is all about the stuff I love to do. So I am going to try and focus a lot more on me.
I want to have time to read again, I am looking forward to spending time with my friends and am certainly looking forward to hopefully planning a few very exciting trips for the future.
I want to have time to read again, I am looking forward to spending time with my friends and am certainly looking forward to hopefully planning a few very exciting trips for the future.
This actually ended up being quite a long post but I really wanted to update you all on everything that has been going on in my life at the moment. I never really do them, but am thinking I should do life updates a bit more often, as I also tend to have exciting things and trips planned in my life!
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